


still spinning, still living

by Crollalanza



Series: Marshmallows, Siblings and Drums [4]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-22
Updated: 2015-01-22
Packaged: 2018-03-08 15:11:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3213725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crollalanza/pseuds/Crollalanza
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There was something to be said for not thinking, and today Saeko wanted to be busy, to keep herself from thinking too much.</p>
            </blockquote>





	still spinning, still living

**Author's Note:**

  * For [maychorian](https://archiveofourown.org/users/maychorian/gifts).



> This isn't necessarily compliant with The Beat of a Drum (but it could well be ;P) 
> 
> It is compliant with Delinquent Marshmallows.

The day started quiet enough. Saeko lay in her bed, staring at the ceiling for a while, before the cold morning light blasted through a crack in her blind and forced her out of bed. In the kitchen she debated putting on some rice for breakfast, but her dad had only just come off his shift, and Ryuu was never that fussed, preferring toast or cereal. Instead, she boiled up some water, made herself a cup of black coffee and sat at the table – alone.

She liked mornings, usually. She liked the early morning especially, that time of day when she could just sit and not have to launch herself into any activity. It was why she woke early most days, just to give herself some time to think.

But there was something to be said for not thinking, and today she wanted to be busy, to keep herself from thinking too much.

Ryuu wandered in earlier than usual, yawning and stretching. Three months off seventeen, he was starting to outgrow his awkward teenage body, not nearly as clumsy as he used to be, and a lot less clumsy than the boys she remembered from school. Maybe volleyball had hastened his development, given him better reflexes, and she supposed that was good, but then again it was another sign that things were changing, that the world was moving on, still spinning on its axis.

“I could do ya rice if ya want,” she said.

He shook his head, morose as he always was in the morning, yawned again, scratched his arse, and then reached for the cornflakes.

“Coffee?” she offered.

“Nah,” he murmured and wandering over to the fridge, he brought out the carton of milk, took a large gulp then sat at the table.

“Hey, there are others in the house,” she scolded. “I don’t want milk if your gob’s been all over it!”

“You’re drinkin’ black coffee,” he protested.

“Maybe I was gonna have cereal.”

“You don’t eat breakfast!”

“Perhaps I wanted a change. You don’t know.”

He glared at her, then after pouring some milk in his bowl, he ripped open the other side of the top, pushing the corners into a spout, and closied up the other side where his mouth had been. “There ya go, Neesan, milk totally uncontaminated by my mouth.” He swallowed a mouthful of cereal. “It’s not like I got a disease or nuthin’”

“That ain’t the point,” she started to say, but then she halted. She didn’t want an argument, not today, and she wasn’t about to have cereal anyway, so what was the point. Besides, he was showing some ingenuity for once.

“You’re up early,” she said instead, wondering if he wanted to talk.

“Yeah, meetin’ Noya. We’re goin’ for a run before school. I told ya I got morning practises as well, didn’t I?”

“Uh ... yeah, you mighta done.” She sipped her coffee, placing it carefully back on the table. “What time ya back tonight?”

He shrugged. “After practise, I guess.”

“So, sixish?”

“S’pose.” He shovelled some more cornflakes in his mouth, fetched a glass and poured himself some juice.

Saeko smiled to herself. He might still eat with his mouth open, and gulp down drinks as if there were no tomorrow, but at least this time he’d used a glass.

***

It was before six. She’d come back from her shift at work, driving hell for leather along the dark streets, and come back to an empty house. A note from her dad told her he’d been called in to work, and not to leave him any food, so with a sigh, she dumped the shopping on the kitchen floor, and set about preparing food.

She wasn’t a great cook. She could do the basics, but cooking bored her. Tonight, though, with just the two of them, she’d decided to make an effort, whisking batter for tempura, and seasoning some oil for the pan. It wouldn’t take long to cook, so she’d wait for Ryuu, then maybe over food they’d talk.

It was gone six, but he’d said ‘sixish’, so fifteen, twenty minutes, wasn’t a problem. And it wasn’t like she had anything to go to having switched shifts and cancelled her rehearsal for the night.

At seven-thirty she began to ... not be worried, exactly, but to get annoyed. Ryuu’s time keeping was never great, but gone seven rather than six was stretching it. And she knew what time practise ended, so even if they’d stopped for pork buns on the way home, he should have been home by now. She whipped the batter again and stirred the prawns around the chilli lime marinade.

Eight o’clock and she heard his key in the door. By now, she was mad. This wasn’t six. This wasn’t even six- _ish_. It was eight, two fricking hours later, and she’d ...

“Where the hell were ya?” she shouted.

“Uh... Suga-san’s.”

“And ya didn’t think to tell me.”

“Sorry, my phone ran outta charge.”

“Any ya couldn’ta borrowed Yuu’s phone, no?”

“He wasn’t there.” He dumped his bag in the hallway, and trundled towards his bedroom. “Don’t worry about food. I’ve eaten.”

“What?”

“We were watchin’ a DVD of the Brazil match, which went on a bit, so Suga-san’s mum told us we could stay. She made a load of seafood and stuff.” He opened his bedroom door. “She’s a great cook. I had seconds.”

“You ate there.”

“Uh... yeah.”

“Without checkin’ with me.”

“Um, yeah, I told ya I didn’t have my phone.” He shrugged. “What’s the big deal?”

“I prepared food. _That’s_ the big deal,” she spat. “I gave up my rehearsal, so I could get back to feed ya, Ryuu, cause you said you’d be back at six. I even swapped my frickin’ shift so we could ...” He was staring at her incomprehensibly, and all at once she realised he had no idea. No idea at all. “It doesn’t matter.” She raised her arms, flapping her hands in the air, and screeched, “Why the fuck do I bother, when no one else in this fucking house gives a toss!”

“Hey, hey... Saeko, I... uh ... what ...uh ...”

“Forget it.” She brushed past him forcefully, picked up her jacket, keys and helmet and strode to the door. “I’m goin’ out. Don’t wait up!”

***

It was fifteen minutes after she’d gone that he realised. And wanted to kick himself, because he shoulda remembered. His dad was out, and none of the neighbours gave him the time of day, so he was stuck in the house, waiting for her to come home so he could apologise. And there was no telling how long she’d ride for, no real telling where she’d go, except, he thought he knew, ‘cause really there was only one place she’d go tonight ... and he should be there with her.

Getting his phone out of his jacket pocket, he started to charge it, waited for the first flicker of life, then punched in a number.

“Tanaka-kun, what ya want?”

“Uh ... a favour, Coach.”

“I’m kinda busy right now. Is it urgent?”

He bit his lip. He hated asking, but ... “Uh, yeah, it’s Saeko. She’s um gone off somewhere and ... um ... I need to find her.”

He heard a sharp intake of breath. “Okay, I’m on my way. Just let me square it with my mum.”

While he waited, Ryuu picked up his bag and wandered into the kitchen. He pulled out his training kit, dropping it into the laundry basket for once, instead of leaving it for Saeko to unearth, and then he stared around him. There was a stack of washing up on the draining board, knives and a chopping board, things she never liked putting in the dishwasher, things he always shoved in there ‘cause he was too lazy to wash by hand. He’d been late. She’d prepared food, some seafood it looked like when he checked the fridge, and he’d not been there to eat with her. So ... he frowned. That meant she hadn’t eaten ‘cause she’d been waitin’ for him.

Pulling out the milk from the fridge, he started to heat it in a pan, watching it carefully ‘til it started to boil.

***

“You think that’s where she’ll be, yeah?”

“Uh-huh. I think she wanted me to go tonight, but ... uh ....” Ryuu took a breath. “I forgot.”

“Don’t beat yourself up, kiddo,” Keishin muttered, slowing as they made a turn to the right. “And stop worryin’, we’ll find her.”

Ryuu stared straight ahead, grateful for silence that Ukai seemed to realise he needed. “She shouted at me,” he said at last.

“You’re always arguin’. It’s like a way of life between ya. Hell, she’s always shoutin’ at me.”

“This was different. She’s never that angry.”

Keishin sighed, and taking one hand off the wheel, he reached for his cigarettes, flipped open the packet top, and removed  one with his mouth.“She’ll be cool,” he said.

“Next left,” Ryuu murmured. “It’s up that street.”

“Yeah, I know.”

Keishin pulled up just outside the front gate. The pair of them stared out of the window, scanning the plot in front of them, until both spotted the lone figure, blonde hair shining in the moonlight, standing stock still by a slab of marble. A memorial stone.

“Go,” Keishin muttered, but when Ryuu opened the van door, and a shaft of cold air hit them, he pulled on his arm. “Take my coat.”

“I’m fine.”

“Saeko ain’t,” he said dryly. “She’s wearin’ a thin leather jacket. Take my coat and make sure she wears it.”

“You ... uh ... comin’?” Ryuu asked.

The Coach shook his head. “I’ll wait here in case ya want a lift back, but this is between the pair of ya.”

 

“I fucked up, Mum,” she cried. “I’m tryin’ my best, but it’s hard, and sometimes I just ... I just can’t do it. Like, today, he’d done nuthin’ wrong, not really, he was just late, but I yelled and yelled. And he’s still a kid, at times, then he ain’t. Like he’s a grown up and bein’ all responsible, but then he doesn’t think, and I start to think too much that maybe he don’t care anymore. I’m sorry.”

Ryuu faltered, but then, squaring his shoulders, he took a step towards her. “Uh... Neesan.”

“Hey!” She turned swiftly, and he could see so very clearly her tears in the moonlight. Her face was pale, too, but her eyes darker, maybe they were red from crying, Ryuu wasn’t sure. “What are you doin’ here?” she asked, and rubbed at her cheeks.

“Wanted to find ya,” he muttered. Then the words came out in a jumble. “Say sorry, ‘cause ... uh ... I forgot. And I shouldn’t have done. It’s shit, ‘cause what kinda kid forgets when their mum died.”

“S’okay,” she mumbled, then shivered. “Maybe that’s a good thing. You forgettin’ I mean. Kinda means we move on.”

He moved closer, so close he was in touching distance, and then, as she shivered again and he heard a sob in her throat, Ryuu stretched out his arms and gathered her to him. “I don’t want to forget,” he muttered. “I’m sorry. And I’m sorry for not comin’ home. I shoulda left, or used another phone.”

“Stop it.” She clasped him close, her hands pressing into his back, and suddenly he was transported back to another time. A time when she’d been so much taller than him, so much stronger, and so caring, cuddling him when he cried, promising she’d never leave him.

“I’m sorry for shoutin’ at ya,” she whispered. “You’re a good kid, Ryuu.”

He laughed, a touch sadly. “I deserved it, and ... uh ... don’t ya think Mum woulda shouted, too.”

She meant to deny it, to proclaim that their mum had been perfect, but then a memory flashed through her mind. Of a five-year- old Ryuu darting behind his big sister, when their mum screeched at them for the mess in the lounge because they’d built a Lego fort, got bored,  and left little bricks all over the floor.

“She loved us,” she said, and disentangled herself from his embrace.

“Yeah, I know that. Uh ... I got somethin for ya.”

“Hmm?”

He smiled ruefully and draped Ukai’s coat over her shoulders.

“Is this Keishin’s coat?” she asked, and peered over Ryuu’s shoulder. “Is he around?”

“Yeah, he drove me here.” And then he pulled out a flask from his bag.  “But that’s not what I got for ya. Hot chocolate,” he proclaimed, pouring her a cup. “Not as good as mum made, I bet, but ...”

She took a sip.  “Nah, it’s good. Thanks.”

“And we’re good, yeah.”

She stared at him intently, and then one side of her mouth flipped into a grin. “We’re Tanakas, Ryuu-chan. We’re always good, so don’t let anyone tell ya otherwise.” Reaching up, she pecked him on the cheek. “’Specially not your sister.”

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this story based on a prompt from maychorian on tumblr, which was chocolate and Tanaka siblings. I chose this plotline for very personal reasons.


End file.
